Back in July, I was dumped for the third time, from the only real relationship I had ever had. And it was terrible. He was abusive emotionally and physically. I didn’t know where to turn. My aunt came over to my house to try and console me and she brought with her The Rules. I sat down that entire night with tears in my eyes and read the whole book from beginning to end, even taking notes. My aunt made me realize that had I been following The Rules this would have not made my relationship any less painful or the break up any easier because I wouldn’t have had the relationship in the first place, so I shouldn’t blame myself.
The next morning I joined match.com. I didn’t message anyone right away, but I waited for the messages to come to me. And as I would later find out in The Rules for Online Dating, that was exactly what I should of done.
One of the first messages that I got was from a guy in Minnesota named Matt. His picture was cute and he made a funny joke about something on my profile that caught my eye. I waited and then responded. We messaged back and fourth for about 3 weeks before he was coming down here to Alabama to look at apartments before moving here. He would be down here for one week and we would meet then.
My aunt and I added some “house rules” to the Rules. Such as, don’t sleep with a guy until you have been dating him for at least 2 months. And always be safe. We made safety rules about never drink more than one alcoholic beverage when on a date. And always make sure you get your drink yourself from your bartender. When you do get ready to have sex, make sure it is protected. Basic rules for safety and well being, that we both agreed to and added to our rules.
Matt came down to Minnesota and we hit it off right away on the first date. He asked me out again immediately to see me before he left to go back to Minnesota. There were 5 days inbetween dates and because he was going out of state, my aunt and I agreed to break the rules one time and let me go back out on another date with him the last day before he went home since my first date was on the first night he got there.
When he went back home our messages became more frequent, but I still kept an air of mystery about me. We messaged and began text messaging (after he asked for my number) for the next two weeks until he moved to Alabama.
He moved to Alabama in August and we began to see each other twice or three times a week when he figured out how to ask correctly. We would usually hang out at his apartment and watch really bad B-rated horror movies and eat junk food, but we continued to date other people online. We both agreed to keep our profiles up and go on dates and tell each other about our dates.
It was beginning to become very hard to take our hands off of each other, however. So to speed things up, I decided to make him get tested. And I told him when he showed me a negative result we could sleep together. And two months was almost up also.
At first he was shocked but then he was excited to do it because he knew he would ultimately get what he wanted. So we continued to hang out, and the next week an envelope came in the mail. And he said he had a surprise for me. They had mailed him his test results. Of course they were negative like I expected. So that night was our first time together.
Afterwards we made an agreement. We would continue to keep our dating profiles up and maintain “single” status until December because then it would be officially 6 months since both of us had been out of a relationship and we felt like we could both get into one.
So from September till December, Matt would call, we would go on dates, and sometimes we would just go over to his apartment and watch movies. Never more than 2 or 3 times a week. We became the best of friends and lovers, but we still remained open to other people.
Then in December for Christmas he got me a diamond promise ring and officially asked me out before leaving on a business trip. I drove him to the airport and kissed him goodbye. I felt like I was in a movie. It was one of the most romantic things that has ever happened to me.
Then January came around and we made our relationship facebook official so that everyone in Minnesota as well as Alabama knows about it.
Currently Matt and I are very much in love. I just spent the night at his apartment last night. I left this morning though, like a good Rules girl. And I hope that one day in the next two years he will pop the question.